"Not everyone that spares is a friend; nor is everyone that strikes, an enemy. Better are the stripes of a friend than the voluntary kisses of an enemy. It is better to love with severity, than to deceive with leniency. He that binds a frenzied man, and wakes the one who is sick from lethargy, troubles them both, and yet he loves them both."
Eli's rebuke of his sons, while not appearing as intended to deceive, is yet an instance of inordinate leniency.
"Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled [at] the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? For I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. Nay, my sons; for [it is] no good report that I hear: ye make the LORD'S people to transgress. If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them" (1 Samuel 2:22-25).
Confirmation of Eli's inordinate leniency:
"And the LORD said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli [all] things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever" (1 Samuel 3:11-14).
The ears of everyone that hear of God's decretal determination shall tingle. God says that Eli did not restrain his sons. Despite Eli's rebuke of his lewd and marble-hearted sons (1 Samuel 2:22-25), it was apparently done with a lenient feather duster instead of a severe jackhammer (cf. Jeremiah 23:29). There is a maxim that goes something like this: Soft words; hard hearts. Hard words; soft hearts (of course, sometimes both soft and hard words will harden the especially stubborn sinner).
Scriptures that describe a suitable severity:
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes [hasten or chastise early--CD]" (Proverbs 13:24).
"Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).
"Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. (Proverbs 23:13-14).
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15).
A passage describing the loving severity of punishment combined with the loving leniency of comfort and restoration:
"Sufficient to such a man [is] this punishment, which [was inflicted] of many. So that contrariwise ye [ought] rather to forgive [him], and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm [your] love toward him. For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things. To whom ye forgive any thing, I [forgive] also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave [it], for your sakes [forgave I it] in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices" (2 Corinthians 2:6-11; cf. Psalm 141:5).
If the Corinthian assembly had not heeded Paul's exhortation to forgive and comfort the repentant member, then this would be a sinful and inordinate instance of severity (my assumption is that they did heed Paul's exhortation). One of Satan's devices is that a true assembly is to withhold forgiveness and comfort to a repentant member. In Paul's exhortation is found a severity and leniency that accord with righteousness, justice, and love; one is not employed at the expense of the other.
